Wednesday 25th March

Heya everyone.
Sorry for this late post, havn't felt like logging on for a while.
Life back in the Swagman is strange. It's odd to be back in a place you thought you might never return to. Getting a job is difficult, but tomorrow I will phone the company I worked for months ago, see if they'd like someone who already knows the ropes giving a hand. I doubt they'll have a job open though, seems like things were ticking more smoothly when they stopped me working before.
The people I'm getting to know are all decent. When I left, there was a balanced mix of languages, but now pretty much everyone is English. It's nice in a way, but when there are lots of 'lads', it gets heavy sometimes. But Scott is here, and Pierre (a cool French guy) came back, so I know more people well. Still get lonely, now and then. I don't have a really close friend, just lots of friends. Would be kinda nice to sit back with a bro or stepbro, just watch a movie, without having to get drunk on cheap box wine to pass the time. I'm not drinking at the moment, after a bad spell. The last few times, I suddenly got very drunk very quickly, and wake up with a headache, not knowing if I embarrased myself the night before. There are still a few things I hide from the people around me, and I'd like to keep it that way. But the last time I got drunk, it was so bad, the local tramp had to help me get inside. That's not funny to me, that's too far. People laughed, said it was hilarious, but it scares me, not being in control. So I haven't touched a drop since. I'm happy to watch others get drunk around me.
There are some very good looking girls here too, but I can't let myself get close, it just doesn't happen. I'm not trying anymore, really. I'm happy to be a friend.
Meanwhile, my fast food intake has risen drastically. Not something happy about, but I just get so hungry, and it's always at night, when the shops are closed. I try to time my meals, to avoid the inevitable, but when I think I've managed to get through the urges return stronger. I have a plan though, I'm going to record everything I eat. Then hopefully I'll put myself off having to read a long list of crap at the end of the night.
I plan to try and start running again. I went to this beach a bus ride away, and the direction goes through Rushcutter's Bay, so I hope to run through the bay to the beach, and then swim, and then maybe walk or bus back. And I also plan on going back to the park, I want to make that a regular thing. I want to come home with more skills, and I won't if I don't push myself to.
My birthday is nearby. I don't know how I feel about that, to be honest. One part of me doesn't want it to, because everyone will be constantly around me, and they'll expect me to get wasted at a club, and I don't want that. But then, I remember not looking forward to last year's birthday, and it turned out to be really good, my best.
So I really don't know.
I need to plan out my flight. That is vital. I just checked it, but will make phone calls, and stuff, hopefully soon.
So many plans, and it feels like only a month since I first got to this country.

Right people, I have to go. I might buy that tramp some chicken Mcnuggets as a thank you.
All the best, hope you're all still working or studying, and having fun, whichever is applicable.
Speak soon.

“All travel has its advantages. If the passenger visits better countries, he may learn to improve his own. And if fortune carries him to worse, he may learn to enjoy it.” (Samuel Johnson)
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” (Mark Twain)

Hello everyone!
Thank you for all the birthday love, I had a great day. Spent the first part walking round the city looking for jobs, and then chilled in a park for a while. Then I came back to the hostel, got pulled into a drinking game where whenever anyone said the word "birthday" I had to drink.
After a few "Happy Birthday to You"s, I was fairly plastered. I do remember, however, stumbling to Mcdonalds, and sending off a job application to the Cruise Ship company! Man, when I remembered I'd done that I was worried, but I've just checked it and it's a surprisingly good application. Could still be sailing round Africa, cleaning a pool on a huge ship.
I got lots of Facebook love, that was nice. And people at the hostel are now really gelling, it's a really nice place to stay again.
But today, just now in fact, a friend went out to a club. She's leaving tomorrow, so it was the Leaving Outting, and she was upset that not many people were going out. So I joined them, to boost the numbers.
Turns out they were going to a gay club. Wow. Now I hate clubs, I can't dance, and I'm not gay, so I was worried. But hey, haha, I had a good time. An hour later I was going mental. Good stuff.
Actually enjoyed myself. It won't happen again, it was a one off, but it was a good night.
Right, I'm getting tired. It's 3.40, I've spent an hour thanking everyone on Facebook.
I have a thing on Tuesday, a day course that will allow me to work in places that serve alcohol, so that'll help with jobs, and on Wednesday I might be working for a guy unloading shipping containers, so looking forward to that.
Ok people, lots of love, all the best.
xx